I chose a picture, and theme, for the title of this rambling for two reasons, 1) David Bowie was one of the individuals on this planet who exemplified an ability to create and morph into whatever persona struck his fancy at the time; and 2) David Bowie was awesome, just plain awe-inspiring and awesome (Awesome, I tell you!!), but I digress.
Change, for most of us, can be terrifying. We are creatures of habit who love security and stability; while we deliberately (and blindly) take occasional forays into thrill-inducing vignettes that give us a brief adrenaline rush and an illusion of daring, we also believe deep in our hearts that the secure sameness of home is always going to be there to take us in when we want to come back to milk and cookie-land from our self-constructed drama.
Anything that shatters this illusion of "home", anything outside of our control that removes our blinders and makes us completely remake our views of ourselves, can be absolutely terrifying. What we once thought of as solid ground, an impregnable fortress that protected us from all onslaught, becomes shifting quicksand and a Dali-esque landscape with no rules or structure to gently wrap around us and hold us steady. We are thrown flailing into the wind and current, whirling gyroscopically, desperately grasping for anything solid we can hold on to and place our new faith.
It can be difficult to grasp the concept that change doesn’t eradicate what was, it only brings about what now is; and that particular "is" will be only until more change occurs. Change is inevitable, only your personal perception of what “should be” makes it something you might choose to struggle against. Clinging, limpet-like, to something that is not meant to be yours any longer is a waste of energy and brings little with it but stress and fear. Flowing with change, accepting it as a natural and necessary part of life, gives you the ability to balance and move with grace through life’s vicissitudes.
Saying goodbye to situations, things, and people who are no longer meant to be with you on this plane is made easier by being grateful for the good they brought to you while they were there, rather than focusing on the loss. Know that something else good is coming your way and room has to be made for your next blessing. The ones that leave you will go on to bless someone else and it’s not up to you to decide or judge what that blessing might be.
Admittedly, there are people who have passed out of my life that I have great difficulty thinking of how they could possibly be any kind of blessing for anyone, but I remind myself of the important lessons I learned because those same people were in my life. While it might be an extra blessing that they are gone now and I don’t have to experience their ugliness on a daily level, I know that I am very grateful for the lessons learned and the strength found for having had them in my life. It also took my making the choice to no longer allow them into my life, nor allow them to have an effect on my thoughts and feelings, for me to be able to process the lesson and grow from it. When someone has proven to you that they definitely intend you harm, it is foolish to take anything they say to you and interpret it as a truth. Always put more weight on what people do, rather than on what people say. People will always show you who they really are, if you are paying attention.
Letting go can sometimes be the wisest and best decision you can make. It doesn’t mean it’s not going to possibly be scary or difficult, and it certainly doesn’t mean that everything will be easy after that, but it does mean that you will no longer have that particular struggle causing you stress and anxiety. Or if you find yourself desperately clinging to something that continually struggles to elude you, trying to find ways to make something “work” when repeated circumstances give proof that it is not, perhaps it is time to consider letting it go. Cutting yourself loose and giving yourself over to the current is frightening, but that one small step can potentially lead you to where you are meant to be, moving with ease, grace, and peace through this life.